danismissing asked: Hey lady, what's up? Hope the new year is treating you well!
Howdy! So far the new year has been a bit of a bitch, but that’s always to be expected, Jan and early Feb suck for me these days. However things are starting to look up, I just moved into an awesome new house, with brilliant people, had a lovely couple of days at the beach with my friend Tom and his grandparents, and now it’s back to work and reality :)what about your fine self? Hope you’re doing excellent.
I’m in my own personal hell. Which sucks, because contrary to my usual misery hates company attitude, I feel like socialising.
Sometimes I like to sift through other people’s archives, to see what they were up to when my world was falling apart. I like it best when they had an average day, and they bitched about it, because then I get to hate them.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m kind of a bitch.
I need to get out of my mind, because it’s driving me crazy. I’m obsessing and panicking, and I cried in the street today because a boy was teaching his sister to ride her bike.
It’s anniversary countdown, and it’s hot as hell; I just can’t handle it, but I don’t know how to not handle it either.
People are always banging on about how well adjusted I am, how mature, how fucking brave I am, because I’m still here, I’m still standing, and functioning.
They say I’m strong and they’re all so bloody proud of me. I just don’t know how to fall apart. I’m a control freak, and I can’t let go, no matter how tempted I am. I’d love nothing more, but I have a life, in the real world, and I can’t just press pause and break down, because this shit keeps on going whether you’re ready for it or not.
And yet, I can feel myself slipping. I don’t think this can end well.
I’m so tired I look like Steve Buscemi.
These are a few of my favourite things
I have to leave for work in 20 minutes, and I’d rather stab myself in the foot. Cape Live, y u so crap?
I should probably feel bad for breaking your heart, but the thing is I just can’t be bothered loving you.
Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, and it’s so dark that I lose my bearings, and for a moment I am convinced I’m back in my old room. It just feels exactly like it, and I feel calm and happy. Then I reach over to check the time on my clock radio, and feel nothing. And just like that everything is ruined again. Fuck these mind tricks.
